crackedheart2I’m in my house, 1,000 miles away from Boston.

I can feel the cracks in my heart.

The doors are locked and I need to remind myself to breathe.

The wind is blowing. My mind is spinning.

The Boston area is on lock down because of the marathon bomber manhunt.

And I’m trying to figure out how to balance the Boston terror, my spiritual practice, and my day-to-day routines.

Do I watch CNN? Keep checking twitter updates from @CNNbrk?

Do I meditate? Try Kundalini yoga? Clear my mind?

Do I wash the dishes? Fold the laundry? Straighten up the kids’ rooms?

Land of the Free

On one hand, I want to be an ostrich with my head in the sand. I want to be 1,000 miles away from the chaos and the terror. I want to freely open my windows and freely walk down the streets in my neighborhood…because I can. Because that’s what it means to be free. Because I live in the land of free.

But I can’t. I can’t be free when I know many of my fellow Americans are on lock down. Not when cities are being shut down and fellow Americans are being asked to remain at home and lock their doors. Not when there is a terrorist on the loose somewhere in my country.

I feel compelled to check in with the news, to know what’s going on, to FEEL a glimpse of what others are truly experiencing. I want to open my heart and feel it ache with sadness. I want to be inspired by the 1,000s of law enforcers working diligently to bring freedom back to Boston.

Home of the Brave

Along with the sadness I feel in my heart, I want to fill the cracks of my heart with hope and love.

So here I sit, filling in the cracks of my heart with hope, love, and gratitude.

Hope for a brighter tomorrow.

Love for those feeling the terror.

Gratitude for life.