Do We Have To Be Perfect To Love Who We Are?

This is an original post written by contributing writer Alexandra.

There is a phrase in Renee Trudeau’s book, “The Mother’s Guide To Self-Renewal,” that is a straight shot to my psyche. The first time I read this phrase, my eyes stopped in their track.  The words on that page, that day, convinced me that, for the love of my family, and myself, I had to implement serious change in my life.

What phrase could cause me to turn on my ear like this?

This one: “Loving mothers are self loving mothers.”

Read that again, please, and let the wisdom of Renee’s words, and all the worth that is in them, soak into your soul.

Loving mothers are self loving mothers.

How many of us truly love who we are? What we are like? What we look like? Are we ever satisfied? Do we talk kindly to ourselves? What do we say to ourselves? Are we kinder to others, than we are to our person?

Reflect on that phrase: Loving mothers are self loving mothers.

Think of the joy and happiness that will spread out and reach those we love around us, when we are happy with who and what we are. When we like ourselves.

We’d have a smile that projects, “I wouldn’t want to be anyone else.” A smile that says, “I’m happy with who I am today, and all that I have.”

How can we help but not feel joyful, alive, energized, when we are at peace with who we are as women?  Think of the serenity that comes when we are loving, gentle, accepting of ourselves…as we are in this moment of our lives.

I grew up with a mother who was never happy with who she was, who her children were, what lot she had been given in life. She struggled with depression and issues of self worth and self esteem. Our house was one of little laughter, and devoid of smiles.  We felt her lack of joy–the very air in our house, whispered those words to us.

I want better for my family, for myself.  Joy shows itself, and it permeates the home we create for our children, our partner. But being kind to ourselves, and changing how we see ourselves, is a process that doesn’t come over night.

When I began writing for MomRenewal Project last July, one of the early exercises in The Mother’s Guide To Self Renewal book, was to create a 15 minute time period, practiced daily, in which we write to ourselves. I would set a timer, pull out my journal, a pretty one I purchased just for this daily work, and begin to write, as Renee Trudeau had instructed, on the following items:

• What I like best about myself
• My interests
• One wonderful thing that happened this day
• My proud moments
• What happened when I pushed myself beyond my comfort zone
• How I surprised myself recently
• My talents
• My gifts
• My attributes

At first, I felt shy, even to myself, to go on and on about the good things I was. Over time, I built up to 2 or 3 items that I would be able to fill in and write about. Now, I find myself looking forward to this time of journaling, at the end of the day. Even on the not so great days, I make myself find one good thing to jot down.

The most exciting part about this exercise? Though the process is gradual, it is self talk that works. It’s like having a very special friend call you up and tell you, “Hey, I really like you.” I enjoy going over the past entries, and reading the words I’ve given to myself.

My challenge to you is to try this journal exercise.

I have seen and felt results since I began 8 months ago. Set an ordinary timer for 5, 10 or 15 minutes, and just write. Write a love note to yourself. Begin with the phrase that spoke to me, loud and clear:

A loving mother is a self loving mother.

Please begin today, by leaving a comment here, telling us one thing you like about yourself. We want to hear it.

Alexandra works as both a caterer and stay at home mother to 3 boys in a small town. She keeps a personal blog Good Day Regular People, where she co-blogs with her children of their adventures in homeschooling.  To quote Alexandra, “it is all snips and snails and puppy dog tails”.