As moms, we are so busy taking care of everyone and everything. Just today, for example, I cleaned up the house, got everyone dressed, prepared the family to get out of the house for our weekend outing, packed snack bags, bought drinks, put on bike helmets, cut ravioli, stopped many fights, removed a head from being squished from a door, cooked and cleaned up lunch, paid bills, and engaged my children in programming filled with biking, playing, exercise, and our imagine station…all before noon.
Sometimes we need to stop and just take care of ourselves.
One way for you to do this is to find enough time to simply be alone with your authentic self. So, I am encouraging all of my readers to go on an Authentic Self Date this week.
Authentic Self Date: This is two or more hours that you spend totally alone. It’s time to be still, to be creative, to reflect, and to reconnect with yourself.
Go On an Authentic Self Date with Yourself…
…Earn Some Link Love.
- Find two or more hours this week and go on an Authentic Self Date (see below for suggestions).
- Twitter about your Authentic Self Date to give other moms permission to do the same (link back here so they can read the how-to info).
- After your Authentic Self Date, share your experience in the comments section on this post or on your blog.
- I will post all Authentic Self Date comments or blog posts in a follow-up post with lots of blog and twitter link love.
Suggestions for Your Authentic Self Date…
Note: This activity and the following suggestions are adapted from Renee Trudeau’s book The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal. Renee recommends not going shopping, running errands or going to the movies during your alone time.
- Spend time in nature (park, nature preserve, lake, etc).
- Go to a coffee shop or tearoom.
- Have an all natural organic picnic.
- Sit outside and enjoy some ice cream.
- Take a bike ride or a relaxing walk.
- Write a poem about how motherhood has changed you.
- Take a yoga or meditation class.
- Create a gratitude journal.
- Curl up in bed with your journal and reflect.
This is Your Moment
Don’t let anything get in your way! Curve out time this week and enjoy your Authentic Self Date. We can’t wait to hear all about it.
Stacey–thanks for your beautiful post. One of my favorite solo dates is to curl up in a quiet corner at a bookstore or library with a mandala coloring book and some freshly sharpened color pencils. Really fun to tap into your subconscious and see what emerges.
You can buy a mandala coloring book at a mind-body-spirit bookstore or online.
PS I’ll be leading a free class for moms on Thur. night Sept. 17th from 7-8 CST on Reconnecting with Who You Are (the chapter from my book, The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal, that focuses on solo dates). All are welcome to join us. Register at http://www.reneetrudeau.com/calendar.
PSS I am a huge fan of Snatam Kaur’s too. Her newest CD Liberations’ Door is amazing. Highly, highly recommended!
Renee – It’s obviously my honor to have you on my blog and I look forward to many many years of working with you. Thursdays are my mommy-night-off, so I’ll be sure to check out your free class for moms on Reconnecting with Who You Are.
Hi Stacey – I love the photo. Your points are great – I think one of the reasons I feel fairly clear now is that I spent many years being by myself most of the time. It’s a very under-estimated thing to do! (not that I think everyone would benefit from doing what I did – we all have different paths).
Stacey/Renee, I love this idea of a self-date, and I do it regularly. I definitely learned the hard way on this one. I was always someone who needed a lot of time to myself, and when I had kids, like many new moms I neglected this big-time at first, which impacted both my health and my temperament:-) I think my favorite thing is a probably a nature walk and meditation, and my second is probably a manicure/pedicure with a book/magazine, followed by some time in a coffee shop to finish up my reading. I am a big reader, and sometimes when I am really burnt-out I find that I have a tendency to just pick up a novel at the library and stay up late several nights in a row reading. I miss out on some sleep for a couple of days, but the time alone, and in the ‘fantasy’ world of the novel, just recalibrates me somehow. So that would also be on the list for me.
In this fast phased time. People don’t put up time dedicated to themselves. The effect is personal imbalance and stress. What you have suggested above is important for the nourishment of the self. One of my authentic self date activity is listening to music spending time in nature. 🙂
I love the concept of the authentic self date. Most of us are so busy DOING and DOING we never take time to just BE.
To be and dream. To be and create. To be and pretend. To be totally Alone.
I’m reminded of a quote by author Amelia E. Barr on solitude:
“Solitude is such a potential thing. We hear voices in solitude we never hear in the hurry and turmoil of life; we receive counsels and comforts, we get under no other condition . . .”
Cheers,
Miche 🙂
I keep saying I’m going to make a date to go out of the house to somewhere quite where I can work on that novel I keep putting off. It’s something I used to love and now making time for it seems like a chore – I know I’ll feel better if I make it so. Maybe I can combine it with a trip to the beach. That always leaves me feeling refreshed and renewed.
Mine was at a medical conference. Instead of going to all the lectures, I went hiking near the ocean and absolutely loved journaling, reading, and just breathing in the ocean air.
I highly recommend it to stop all the thoughts about who you think you are or aren’t, and just open to the beauty of now and you in the now.
Hi Stacey,
I haven’t been on your site in a while (running errands, taking care of the kids, cleaning the house, you know what I am talking about) and this post was exactly what I needed to come back and stop. I love reading and reading wonderful posts like yours is one of the ways to have an Authentic Self Date for me.
It’s interesting that just last week I wrote a post Balance Your Life in Two Days inspired by the trip to the mountains with my family. It was a wonderful time for me to reflect, to enjoy silence and quietude, to reconnect with my inner self. In my opinion nature is the greatest source of inspiration to be yourself, to create, to do things. Nothing else compares with the magnificent views, fresh breeze, a relaxing walk or a fun run under ancient trees, the sound of silence at night and pleasant songs of birds in the morning.
Great idea…and I really good use a date with myself. I realize how much I love my own company. I think that being the eldest sibling and having my own room for so long created an appareciation for me time. It is hard to get quiet and know what you want out of life if you never take the time to be alone.
Hi Stacey – In The Artists Way, Julia Cameron insists that you go on an Artists Date alone every week – I guess it’s kind of similar.
It’s a part of the Artist’s Way that I’ve never really made an effort on and I was thinking I should try. Then I read your post, so the same message within 2 days is telling me that maybe it is something I should be doing.
Your site is lovely and inspiring. I just posted a short blog about “Honoring the divine in you”…put yourself at the top of your priority list. I like you list of suggested activities. Pleasure to run across your site!
Thanks,
V
Robin – It is a very under-estimated thing to do, which is why you will hear me recommend it more often!
Lisa (Mommy Mystic) – Your top things to do are also my top things to do (no surprise we found each other online). I want to recognize you for curving out time as a mom. Free time doesn’t just appear for new moms, it takes deliberate action.
Walter – Nature seems to be a common theme for alone time activities and self healing. Thank you for sharing.
Miche – BEing is such a luxury these day…and essential luxury I recommend incorporating into our daily lives. Thank you for sharing the quote.
Cynthia – My bold request for you this week is to visit the beach with a notebook.
Mermaid – Sounds absolutely blissful!
Anastasiya – It’s great to “hear” you on my blog. I agree, nothing beats nature for me either, especially mountains and water.
Tamara – Thank you for sharing your insight on “me time”.
Cath – Two messages about a solo date in two days? There is nothing stopping you now! Enoy. Enjoy. Enjoy.
Victoria – Thank you for contributing to the conversation. Putting yourself first ranks high in the world of CreateaBalance.com!
Thanks for the tips! Today, I am taking time out for myself, away from the noise of the world, away from the many demands of work, just nearer to my authentic self, to that quiet voice in my own heart.
I really love this post. When my son was a newborn and my daughter was 2 I was desperate for some ‘me’ time and to find something to help me unwind and as a result I ended up discovering a new passion. I started to write and illustrate (and I am not an artist) storybooks for and about my little ones. It was so theraputic I haven’t been able to stop! So, on my dates alone I go out to a coffe shop armed with my watercolours and paper and always come home smiling 🙂
Jocelyn – How was your time away from your everyday world?
Nina – Thank you for sharing your story. I strongly believe me time gives us an opportunity to discover and share our true passions.
Hi stacey ,
I love the idea of self date. I am one that believes that you can only give to others when you have your cup full of self love, it then pour out when it is over flowing.
.-= Charity Limula´s last blog ..Divas Ministries International =-.