After nine long months, a very close friend of mine just became a mom.
Remembering back to my first week as a mom, I’m assuming she is still in somewhat of a daze, trying to figure out her new routines, and is wildly falling in love over and over again with her baby boy.
One week prior to her baby’s arrival, I reminded her that I’d be there for her once the baby arrives; that I’m available in a heartbeat if she needs anything. I wanted to her to know that she never needs to feel alone and that I’ll have her back whenever she needs it.
And I meant every word.
Having a baby changes us. As Renee Trudeau says in The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal,
“You have joined a club that has a lifetime membership, and you’ll never be the same “you” you were before baby.”
I wanted my dear friend to know that she will not be alone. I wanted her to know that there is an unspoken club she gets to join and if she choices wisely, she’ll meet club members that talk about the “unspoken” topics, that admit that it’s hard, that think about life before baby, and that reach out when they need help.
It would be unbearable if all the moms I hung out with kept their “life is easy” masks on all day. I think I’d feel insane.
We are a club. Benefits of membership include sharing the joys, the hilariousness, the tips and the solicited suggestions. Another essential benefit includes a safe place to cry, to question, to heal, and to rest.
Doing my part as a mom club enthusiast, I told her that once things settle down I’d remind her to keep herself on her priority list. Quoting The Mother’s Guide to Self Renewal, I told her…
“The most precious gift you can give your child and partner is to love and nurture yourself. Self-care is not about self-indulgence, it is about self-preservation. It is not about pampering, it is about owning your personal power. It is about nurturing your potential and living the life you were meant to live”.
As women, I think we already know this. But life is busy and we are providers at heart, so it’s important to remind ourselves how important self nurturing really is for our body, mind, and spirit.
And didn’t you know, self-nurturing is part of the Mom’s Club pledge.
photo credit: fp.
Your writer’s block is definitely behind you. Great post. My sons are 28 years and 26 years and I remain in a special club. Even with them living in different states I am not the same as I would be without them.
As you can appreciate – of course I think they’re wonderful.
.-= cherry woodburn´s last blog ..HOW YOU FRAME YOUR PROBLEM WILL DETERMINE YOUR RESPONSE =-.
What your system says is not my last blog, in fact it was never a blog, rather an article for a business journal. I write on women’s issues/stories at cherry.woodburn/wordpress.com
Wiser words were never spoken.
.-= Diane J.´s last blog ..It’s Got to be a Guy Thing =-.
Cherry – The mom’s club offers a life time membership. Being a member is truly ageless.
Diane J. – Thank you. Sometimes it just feels so good to write. Writing this post was one of those times.
Being a mom is a very special club. We should all appreciate our mothers and other mothers. The love and opportunity they gave us should be appreciated and rewarded with love in return.
Yes! Yes! Yes! The “everything is great” mask is the worst possible thing a new mother can deal with. I only wish I had more open and honest friends when I was a new mom… It took my own admission that everything was crazy for others to admit it as well. Now that I have friends who “speak my language” I know why the Mom’s Club is so important.
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..So You Think You Can (insert talent here) =-.